why do I ride?

I have been doing a lot of thinking about the question "Why do I ride?" and have been trying to come up with a good answer. So far, I have been unable.

During a discussion with my wife the other night, I came to the realisation that I have to ride. After a few days away from the bicycle, I start to twitch. It feels almost like a physical ache. I must ride. It is not the exercise I crave as there are other ways to exercise which work the body as hard as or harder than cycling does (like long distance running). I have tried it before. I used to be able, for example, to run 15km without any apparent effort, but the effects psychologically are not the same even if I do get a good solid workout in. I have to ride.

I wish it was not so, but I have to ride.

Winter months see my riding go from its usual summer excesses to plodding around the city wearing layer upon layer on my commuter bike with its studded tires, or doing spin classes at the gym. Last night, while at the gym in the middle of a spin class, I realised again that I don't like the classes much. They are loud. Most of the instructors yell too much. The gerbil machines are "one size fits no one" monstrosities which can very easily hurt your knees or ankles if you push too hard since getting the fit right is a matter of being close as opposed to getting it perfect. Yeach. But, the faux bike is the only way to get a bike fix in that is not a soul destroying static trainer or a heavy plod through the snow. I have to ride.

I wish it was not so, but I have to ride.

Is it the being outdoors? My natural like for gadgets and fitness? The social element of cycling? The bicycle as a more socially and environmentally responsible transportation choice? I don't know. None of these reasons to ride explain the angst of not riding.

A recent article on the cbc made me wonder if the very repetitive nature of cycling has screwed me? Neuro-scientists have found that anything that someone does which is repetitive over time will rewire their brains. So do I have to ride because I ride? Is my brain saying ride or I will make you miserable? You did this to me, says the brain, so you must suffer if you don't keep doing it?  Has a circular self fulfilling prophesy has been born? Whatever the case, I have to ride.

I wish it was not so, but I have to ride.

At least cycling won't give me a heart attack, lung cancer, emphysema, throat cancer, liver damage, or shorten my life by decades (unless I get hit by a truck).